*Article by Analaya Unverzagt for Summer 2013 youth group Parents Newsletter.*
We’ve all heard Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.” But what on earth does
that look like practically? Here’s what I’ve observed about how I was raised
and what helped me choose to love the Lord. The role of a parent in the life of
a child is far deeper than feeding, clothing, and keeping them alive until
they’re out on their own, especially when parents are also training their
children in the Lord. This is what helped influenced me.
Relationships. If parents
don’t have a good relationship with their kids why would the child choose to
believe what the parents tell them about God? Spend lots of time with your kids.
Have fun with them! We older kids have great fun spending time with our
parents. In fact, I’ve heard directly from my mother’s mouth that one of her
favorite times is when us “big kids” hang out in the kitchen visiting with her.
We even get special privileges to sit on the counter (why sit on a chair when
there’s a counter?!). When the little kids try that mom says, “Only the big
kids are allowed to be on the counter. When you’re a teenager and choose to
spend time with your mom you can sit on the counter too!” It’s not just about
the parent child relationship but more importantly the parent’s relationship
with Christ. I think children first view God through their parent’s example. So
it’s important we practice what we preach. If someone is trying to convince you
of something, you want to see that their actions follow through with their
teaching. Otherwise, why would you listen? If you tell your kids it’s not right
to gossip then they better not hear you doing it. If you want them to have daily
devotions then sit down with your Bible out in the open where your kids can see
you spending time on your relationship with Christ. If you want your kids to go
to church then they need to see how important it is to you. We go to church to
worship the Lord and serve others. We don’t skip because we’re tired, or gas
prices are high, or because of sports. What are your kids seeing as priorities
in the family?
Set reasonable expectations.
Kids don’t need expectations so high they fail every time. Often those same
parents are also unwilling to admit when they’re wrong or ask for forgiveness.
My dad is great at admitting when he’s wrong and asking forgiveness. In fact,
he’s even gained respect from other people’s kids because of that. Asking your
kids to forgive you is something they’ll never forget. Be an example of Christ
by loving your kids whether they meet your expectations or not. And always admit
when you’re wrong.
Pray as a family. And especially
pray for your kids. Let them know you pray for them. Occasionally my mom will
say something like, “I’ve been thinking a lot about you and your concern about
finding a job…” Or “I’ve been praying for you today.” It always makes me feel
incredibly loved. My mother who has fifty other children *large number added
for emphasis!* and one hundred million things to do a day *large number not
exaggerated for emphasis* has been thinking and praying specifically for me and
my life. Finding a job isn’t my mom’s problem. We don’t even live in the same
state. Yet she cares enough to spend time thinking and praying about what
happens in my life. Her actions show that she truly cares and that I need to
care about others and pray for them as well. John 13:34 , “A new
commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you,
you also are to love one another.” These subtle things my parents do are reinforcements
of what Jesus tells us in scripture.
Study the scripture with your
kids. We’ve done family devotions different ways over the years. But I remember
many nights reading The Child’s Story Bible, singing hymns, and praying
together. It’s so important to talk about Jesus and the Bible frequently in the
house. If it feels awkward to throw scripture and Jesus into everyday
conversations, then that’s a red flag that you’re not talking about Him enough.
Show your kids you rely on
God in real, concrete ways. When financial crisis comes up and God meets that
need, talk to your kids about it. Was someone sick who got better after you
prayed for them? Let your kids see that things aren’t about chance or luck.
It’s the result of prayer and trusting God. Everything must point to God in your
daily life. How can I fathom a life without God when all I’ve known growing up
involved Christ in every little aspect? Raising kids in godliness isn’t a
parenting pattern or a 3-step program. Instead, we must constantly live lives
for the Lord in front of the kids and pray for their spiritual wellbeing. And
God will take care of the rest.
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